This is a forum for discussion. You can see the other students' paragraph. You may compliment and criticize their paragraph. This is where you summarize the Food Security article. My paragraph is as shown below.
My article is from the World Food Programme; the programme is inviting students and people who want to be a film maker to create a video about world hunger through the international video competition, called "Hunger Bytes". According to Drew Barrymore, Ambassador Against Hunger, states that "Creativity and a desire to benefit the material, social, and spiritual welfare of humanity are a powerful combination to add in the video."
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The comments below shows other students' paragraph and comments.
ReplyDeleteThis is Kan's paragraph:
ReplyDeleteInternational aid agency Oxfam says that current responses by international donors for world food insecutiry are far below requirments estimated by governments and UN agencies thus to be able to adopt upcoming climate change, shift of approach is needed. Another agency, Action Aid stated that hunger in the world which is perhaps one of the most shameful achievements of recent history was a choice man makes, "not a force of nature".
This is Dong Woo's paragraph:
ReplyDeleteAccording to he ECOWAS (Economic Community of West African States), high oil and food price is their main problem in West Africa. However, for the past 3 years, West Africa is getting better economically. Their domestic production has overcome 232 biilion dollars wtih a 5 percent growth rate. Out of all the 15 different regions of ECOWAS, only Nigeria and Ivory Coast is making and getting oil from export from other Country. Also, if they don't do anything to stop the energy and the food price, all the grains would be destroyed.
This is Brianna's paragraph:
ReplyDeleteAccording to BBC news a hunger strike for Zimbabwe makes a huge change. Archbishop Desmond Tutu is among the activists in southern Africa (South Africa, Congo, Gabon, Zimbabwe, Malawi, etc.) that have started a fast/hunger strike in support of the people in Zimbabwe. Food shortages have helped cause a cholera epidemic, the collapse of the health and education systems, and an economic meltdown in Zimbabwe. These are the reasons for the fast. Hundreds of people have been forced to fast. Many use it as an excuse to connect with their God (or gods). One example of fasting is Kumi Naidoo, a veteran of the anti-apartheid movement, has begun a 21-day, water-only fast/hunger strike according to BBC.
This comment goes for Brianna's paragraph: Really good writing! You really did a good job adding evidence and examples to your writing! The only suggestion I will have to make is to make your paragraph more understandable, more clearer. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is Julius' paragraph:
ReplyDeleteIn this article, it states that Food Security is not just a poverty issue, and that it is a large issue that involves the entire food system. The article also mentioned about Food Sovereignty, which means 'the right of peoples and communities to safe, nutritious, culturally appropriate food, to food-producing resources, and to the ability to sustain themselves.' The Article also explains what Food Security is, and when it actually occurs, and all the problems that block their access to food and strategies to prevent them. The article also has a timeline on several occasions related to food security from 1996-2006.
This comment goes for Julius' paragraph: In this paragraph, the good thing you do was to give us the source of the information. On the other hand, you have no evidence whatsoever on your paragraph. This would have been a lot better if you used at least one piece of evidence to back up the examples. For instance, right after you explain about food sovereignty, attach a percentage about people who do not have access to food sovereignty.
ReplyDeleteThis comment goes for Julius' paragraph: Hello Julius; agreeing with Rahul, you do not have evidence to back up your topics from your article. State your evidence for a more stronger summary. There are not many statistics nor evidence here, except the end. However, at least you placed a link to show where you claimed the information.
ReplyDeleteThis is Rahul's paragraph:
ReplyDeleteThis article talks about the response to food crisis of the GFRP (Global Food Crisis Response Program). The GFRP was created in May 2008, by the World Bank Group as a response to food crisis around the world. The GFRP has contributed an astounding $799.8 million in total for countries such as Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Kenya, Madagascar, Sierra Leone, Yemen, Laos, Honduras and at least 15 more countries in need out there! Not only are they loaning money to these countries, they are also creating close relationships with other organizations and programs such as the IFC and the Russia Food Crisis Response Trust Fund which they predict this will result in tripling their funds to 12 billion in the next two years for lending money in the aspects of health, agriculture and education. These programs are really doing a great deal to save our communities!
This comment goes for Rahul's paragraph: You did a great work on the summary. You additionally included plenty of details. You also added the source of the information; the link to the information.
ReplyDeleteThis comment goes for Rahul's paragraph: Good job writing just a single paragraph, and with plenty of details and plenty of evidence. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis comment goes for Rahul's paragraph: [This article talks about the response to food crisis of the GFRP (Global Food Crisis Response Program)] and [...... as a response to food crisis around the world] are saying same thing thus one of those could have been omitted. I think it could have been better if you write for what the organization is rasing money to those countries. And if you could eventually say "and at least 15 more countries....", I think you did not need to list that many countries' names. In the other parts, this paragraph sounds good for me.
ReplyDeleteThis is Samantha's paragraph:
ReplyDeleteThis article explains what the UN is a report on a metting of the UN to discuss ways to improve gobal food security. Acording to UN Secetery General Ban Ki-Moon sayed that " There is more than enough food in the world, yet today, more than one billon people are hungry. This is unacceptable," The UN news service also stated that leaders of the G8 pledeged 20 billion at their summit. US secritery of state Hilary Cliton also stated that the US have pledged a miniumum of 3.5 billion dollars over the next the three years to strengthen agriculture. The general theme in this article was that if we all help out, together we can help fight global food insecurity.