School Uniforms, Summative Assessment Practice

Red = Topic Sentence/Main Idea
Blue = Examples
Green = Opinion
School uniforms have to be the grossest form of torture that schools inflict on kids. Do any teachers know how uncomfortable school uniforms are? AND how selfish it is that kids can’t show their own fashion sense freely instead of wearing someone else’s stupid and warped idea of what is fashion! I’m ashamed to wear my uniform anywhere except at school and even at school I feel humiliated-the only thing that makes it acceptable is that every other student has to wear the stupid clothes. Personally, I think I can choose my own clothes and should be trusted to do that. When I was allowed to choose my own clothes to wear to school, I felt a lot better. Now wearing a gross, boring and uninteresting uniform day in and day out, makes me feel like I should change schools. School kids should never have to wear uniforms.
Topic Sentence/Main Idea: School uniforms have to be the grossest form of torture that schools inflict on kids. (the author shows biased words such as grossest, torture, inflict)
Example 1: Do any teachers know how uncomfortable school uniforms are? AND how selfish it is that kids cannot show their own fashion sense freely instead of wearing someone else's stupid and warped idea of what is fashion! (the capitalized AND shows bias)
Evidence 1: There is no evidence. What clothes does it have to be to be in fashion? How can uniforms be not fashionable? How can teachers know how uncomfortable school uniforms are? Who is the someone else? You need do describe the uniform's color, and other specific details about the uniform.
Example 2: I’m ashamed to wear my uniform anywhere except at school and even at school I feel humiliated; the only thing that makes it acceptable is that every other student has to wear the stupid clothes.
Evidence 2: Once again, there is no evidence. Why is the author ashamed of wearing his/her uniform? Again, what is the uniform's color? Appearance? Material? You must describe what the uniform is.
Example 3: Now wearing a gross, boring and uninteresting uniform day in and day out, makes me feel like I should change schools. (biased; the author feels he/she should change schools if he/she wears a uniform.)
Evidence 3: THERE IS NO EVIDENCE! Why do you think uniforms are not fashionable? Why are uniforms boring and uninteresting? We do not know the appearance of the uniform; the author did not describe anything about it.