Why do most women suffer in poverty?
Women in poverty is very excruciating and agonizing. The first reason is that women are suffering in poverty is possibly that they have to stay in home, take care of children; or, maybe women are too sick to obtain a job. Many jobs in are unavailable for women. Unskilled women have joined the work force than ever before. The second reason is that women are unable to receive education and are illiterate. Well, according to the UNICEF program, the adult literacy percentage rate for women in the world is 66. The least developed countries for females have a literacy percentage rate of 38. This is the reason that females are incapable to obtain a job. Again, the reason for this are that the females must take care of their children or possibly they are suffering in extreme illness. Although, there are more women than men in secondary school enrollment in Latin America and the Caribbean. The ratio of males for secondary school enrollment is 52 and the ratio of females for secondary school enrollment is 56.
The solution to this problem is that the government use their taxes for public schools, especially for women. Women should be free of charge, while men are charged. The government may hire teachers who are qualified of literacy to teach the women who are illiterate. Another solution to eliminate the problem of fatigue and sickness is to open a clinic, mainly for women. The effects of this will have less women suffer in poverty. It is totally unfair for plenty of women to be suffering in poverty. Women should be successful like men.
Topic Sentence/Main Idea: Women in poverty is very excrutiating and agonizing.
Examples: Women barely received any education and unable to work.
Evidence: Literacy percentage rates for women in the world is 66%.
Loaded Words that are biased: excrutiating, agonizing, unfair
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Sean, you have good evidence, but you keep using the same examples. State your examples and support it with proof by adding statistics and from where the source was. You are being a bit biased to charge men rather than women because that would be unfair, as we, fortunate people are trying to alleviate poverty, which you aren't, as the men will suffer in poverty as well. This is something to avoid.
ReplyDeleteSean, well done as you are debating with Rahul about the solution to alleviate poverty. Agreeing with Rahul, you have plenty of evidence, but you are using the same examples. Try re-submit, so that you may practice doing this, to exceed standards.
ReplyDeleteAt the comments below, here are other students stated in your class in Social Studies about Women in Poverty.
ReplyDeleteYusuf's Passage about Women in Poverty: Today women suffer most in poverty. When they were a little girl, their family were to stupid to give them any support of education. They think that women are worthless. Now because of that women are in more poverty than man. Also women have less choices of jobs because the think they're weak and worthless.
ReplyDeleteTopic sentence:Women suffer most in poverty
Examples:Women have less choices of jobs
Evidence: Women are in more poverty than man.
Loaded/Bias Words: worthless, stupid, weak
Here are comments/replies from Yusuf's comments.
ReplyDeleteYusuf, I think you need to write how to alleviate poverty.
ReplyDeleteYusuf, I like your choice of bias words and your examples you've given. Your second sentence that consisted of "stupid" as a bias word, I think that could of been used in a better way to be a more believable statement, or maybe stupid wasn't exactly the right word to use. Maybe impoverished could of been a better word. I found in your paragraph there were a lot of "they" that could of been clarified or explained in your paragraph. Who thinks women are worthless? Who was a little girl? Who thinks women are weak and worthless?
ReplyDeleteYusuf, you should insert evidence in your paragraph, such as statistics.
ReplyDeleteAngelo's Passage about Women in Poverty: More women suffer from poverty than men. 560,000,000 women in the world live below the poverty line whereas only 375,481,000 men live below the line of poverty. The reason for this is simple. A lot of parents in the world do not think it necessary for girls to go to school. This is because they think daughters should stay home to do household chores such as cooking or cleaning. According to UNICEF 1998, The State of the world's Children 1998, In 1995, the adult literacy rate for males is 81% in the world. However, the adult literacy rate for females in 1995 is 66% in the world. These numbers are drastically low. Furthermore, many women in poor countries do not tend to use modern means of contraception (Condoms, Birth Control Pills, etc.). Finally, Women often rely on husbands for financial support. This means that if the husband should leave her for any reason, she does not know how to take care of herself as she has been relying too much on her husbands steady income. One way to help women get out of poverty is to EDUCATE! By educating more women, they can learn to properly read and write. Therefore, they can get good jobs and won't have to continuously rely on a husband's income.
ReplyDeleteTopic Sentence: More women suffer from poverty than men.
Example 1: A lot of parents in the world do not think it necessary for girls to go to school.
Example 2: many women in poor countries do not tend to use modern means of contraception
Evidence 1: 560,000,000 women in the world live below the poverty line whereas only 375,481,000 men live below the line of poverty
Evidence 2: This is because they think daughters should stay home to do household chores such as cooking or cleaning.
Evidence 3: According to UNICEF 1998, The State of the world's Children 1998, In 1995, the adult literacy rate for males is 81% in the world. However, the adult literacy rate for females in 1995 is 66% in the world.
Loaded/Biased Words: Drastically low, Poor Countries